Its a little over a week now since ive been home. How do I feel? Its more like what dont I feel? I have felt every emotion possible I believe. Ive cried, Ive laughed, Ive embraced, Ive longed, and thats just the beginning. Ive left a life Ive created for the past year. Ive left friends, children, brothers and sisters...ive left my family. Ive left a country I have come to love. Despite all the scary moments, sad times, and tough emotions, I have had the best year of my life. I really cant even sit here and try to explain the year I have had. No matter what I write about or try to explain, you will never know how my heart really feels. Sometimes Im not even sure what my heart is feeling.
Before leaving Honduras, Allison, Dan and I were blessed to be able to travel to Nicaragua and visit dear friends that we have known for the past 10 years. It was an amazing week, but in the back of my mind I knew my time was almost up. Once we got back to Honduras, we had a million things to do. I spent the last few days saying my goodbyes..I felt like they might never end...in fact I wished they wouldnt end.
Friday afternoon, the mothers of the Kinder (both Kinders that I worked with), threw me a goodbye party. I had absolutely NO idea. I began to cry when they yelled surprise and kids began to run towards me. I was so overwhelmed with emotion and everyone wanted pictures with me. I was a mess. It was about 120 degrees, I was hot and sweaty, and crying. But I had to compose myself. Mothers, fathers, siblings, children, neighbors, grandparents...everyone was there. I couldnt have asked for a better goodbye party. It was by far the BEST party I have ever had or been to. It was full of laughing and crying, dancing and singing, eating and hugging. It was full of love. LOVE. and thats all i could have asked for. They did what they could for me and to me thats incredible. They have nothing and they gave me everything.
The last few days were days I will never forget. I had lice. Dan and Ally had lice. Power outages. We were running out of money. We were waiting for a birth. Goodbye parties. Walking around town for hours going house to house to almost everyone I have met in this past year. A grandmother passing away. A mother in pain. It was a weekend, like I said...ill never forget.
I would like to go into detail but I would be sitting here for hours writing this blog. To find out how the month with my sisters visit went, please read her blog. She has helped Porvenir in amazing ways. Dan and Ally raised money before coming to Honduras, I got connected with a local pastor and we began our bunk bed project. Their blog has pictures and describes our adventures in depth.
Im home now. Trying to adjust. Hoping to live a life according to everything I have learned in Honduras. Hoping to be a change.
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