So much news.

The ups and down of being back in Porvenir.

For those who don’t know, I was back in the States for 2 months. Allison and Dan got married and the wedding was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen! I could barely stop crying. Video http://vimeo.com/75975381 We also had a fundraiser garage sale for Finding Hope (www.findinghopehonduras.org) which was a huge success! I watched a bunch of TV and ate a bunch of food (in order to catch up what I missed out on)…but now I am happy to be back to work!

Coming back after two months being gone has its challenges. For one, everyone wants to tell me about everything. Ok great, you say. Well yes, but not all is good news. Here are the updates Ive been included in, and now you will be:

-        - The 13 year old who was pregnant last year, and her baby passed away after 3 days old, is pregnant again. Also, a 16 year old I just met is pregnant and also has Anemia.

-        -  Fanny, the mother of 4 kids in my sponsorship program was pregnant and had an abortion

-        -  Jostin, another child in my sponsorship program, at 7 months old, passed away Friday November 8^th from a heart/lung defect. Oh how my heart aches for his sweet life.

-        -  Rebecca, the mother of 4, is pregnant again and going through a rough time. She is back to leaving her children home alone, unfed and unclothed throughout the day. Rumors are she is going to give the baby away. Please prayers for this new little one.

-        -  Rosa is very sick with possibly a tumor and her husband just had surgery a few weeks ago and is now recovering

-        -  Alexa’s father left her, her siblings, and her mother. The mother is now struggling to provide and Alexa is falling behind in school.

-        -  Everyone and their mother needs something from me…

On a lighter note:

-        -  The women in my beading program are thrilled to receive payment from two months. They were interviewed on TV about the work they are doing!

-        -  Juana is pregnant (shhh it’s a secret) J

-       -   I got to meet baby Josue at 15 days old…the new brother of two local children whom I love!

-         - Alejandra and Andrea are excelling in bilingual school! They were the best students after returning from vacations and are doing fabulous this school year. We are now working on their Visas!

After receiving all this news within 4 days my heart is overwhelmed. I want to help them all but I just cant. I can only love these families and encourage their struggles they are trying to overcome. I can only show them I care and pray for them. There is only so much I can help with. I hate that.

My biggest ache is little Jostin. I ran into his mother Thursday night when I got in, to hear the awful news. Just a week earlier he passed away. His mother is going through a hard time now dealing with his loss. She looks fine on the outside but I can see in her eyes her pain.

Attention is being drawn towards the youngest child now, Melbin (pictured little boy on the left). She is dressing him in younger clothes, carrying him in the stroller and babying him now that Jostin is gone. Thankfully she is attending church and seeking prayer. My hope is that the other children can overcome this great loss of their little brother.  

One of the biggest ups is the joy the women received from being paid for their bracelets sold. From over two months of not receiving payment, they were very excited for my return. In one of the locations where we meet Mondays and Fridays, is my biggest group of women, 13. We had a meeting on Monday to go over some things and inform them of happenings in the near future. It was a short meeting, they got paid and went home. Friday was our second meeting and they threw a pizza party for me! Silvia says “We wanted to show you our thanks and appreciation for how much you have helped us and the blessing you have been in our lives”. My heart melted! Everyone chipped in money and Gaby and Amparo cooked the pizzas just before the meeting. So sweet! … Then as we were eating Pizza I began to talk about how construction will be starting on Monday for the center ( I will get to this in a second) and that I would need their help in this. As this is a center for them, they need to put in volunteer work as the building is being done. After making a list of who would be helping each day, they started to talk about how they could help raise money. I mentioned that the building will be done in steps because I don’t have all the money right now. They started talking about fundraising themselves to buy cement/blocks/materials to help. All these ideas were being thrown around on how to fundraise. I was literally overjoyed. It’s so cool to see them taking the initiative!!!

So yes! Construction starts Monday! Scott and Susan (other missionaries in town) have a small group coming in next week, so along with their money and money that I raised from the garage sale, we will be able to start a bit on the foundation! YES!! Of course pictures are to come next week so be sure to check Finding Hope on facebook!

Its so good to be back J Please pray for the many many bits of news from this blog!

Circumstance

I was on the bus coming back from Ceiba just the other day and two of my favorite little girls got on. Brittany and Alexa jump into my lap to sit with me. After big hugs Brittany says “Catalina, can I tell you something?” “Sure!” I say. “My daddy died” she replied.

Brittany’s dad died just a few weeks ago after being shot and killed. There are two stories explaining his death. The first is that he was being robbed (riding a motorcycle home from work) and the other is that this person who killed him, wanted his job. Either way should give you a good idea of how the economic situation is here in Honduras. Sadly, a 5 year old little girl doesn’t have her daddy anymore.

This conversation with Brittany made me think about the many families I know here in El Porvenir with heart breaking stories. Last week, I met Ondina, a middle aged woman who lost her sons, her husband and her brother. I am unaware of her full story but just 5 minutes into meeting her and asking about her life, she was in tears. This dear woman is afraid for her life. She lost everything she ever knew.

There is Danillo. Gaby’s husband. Mario. Celina. Berta’s cousin. Maria’s uncle. The list goes on. All trying to make their way for the “American Dream”. Desperately wanting to work. Their only solution? To risk their life by going to the states illegally. Tortured. Put through hell to just try and make a few bucks. And that money? Not even for them! They will send it home for their family.  I have been interviewing several women in the bead program (www.findinghopehonduras.org) just about their lives, their work, their families, etc. Wanna know what the number one answer is when I ask about jobs? “I would LOVE to work, there is just nothing available.” Here are a few answers

-          “I tried to find work in several restaurants in the city. I am 35 years old. They said they wouldn’t hire me because they are only looking for attractive 18-25 year olds.”

-          “I graduated high school with specialized studies in Accounting. However, there are no jobs hiring”

-          “I am a teacher! I have been for years. I still teach. But I don’t get paid. The government hasn’t paid its teachers in months”

-          “Honestly, I would work in whatever I found. If it meant house cleaning, I’ll do it. If it means cooking, I’ll do it. It could be office work, construction, department store assistants, selling food on the side of the road. Even though I went to high school, it really doesn’t matter, I will take whatever comes my way.”

Then there are the twins and their cousins, whom I help tutor once a week. Alejandra and Andrea are ten years old. Their mother left to the United States when they were just two, in order to provide for her children. She has been there ever since. The only mom they know is through Skype. They are living with their grandma, along with a houseful of cousins and extended family members. Their cousins, just the same, must deal with mom living so far away. Mom who cannot come visit them, if she does she will not be allowed to return to the states. Mom, whom they cannot hug.

I can’t forget about little baby Jostin. Jostin is 5 months old dealing with so much. His two main arteries are leading to only one lung, where they should be leading to both. He only receives half the oxygen that his body needs. As a result, he has blue fingertips, blue palms, blue toes, blue lips and a blue face when he cries or coughs (which happens more often than not). In addition, his mother cannot afford the right milk for an infant as his age. He is not getting the proper nutrition he needs, on top of his breathing problems. His body is so small. He is so fragile. He needs surgery. The doctors here (Honduras) cannot help him. He needs the expertise and equipment that doctors in the U.S. can perform for him, but he is Honduran. This surgery is long overdue. It may be too late. He is suffering because his country can’t help him. His mother can’t help him. (Don’t worry, I have an army of supporters in the states who are working hard on finding a solution for little baby Jostin. Please keep him in your prayers as we are trying our best!)

There are cases and cases just like these. What hurts the most is that I have seen both sides. It breaks my heart to see Bessy talk to mom on the phone telling her about a funny story that happened today. Then to meet Bessy’s mom in the states and have her ask me (because the Bessy she left behind was years ago) “How is my daughter? Is she skinny? What do you guys play together? Is she learning a lot?”. I have met the mothers. I have laughed, talked, and played with the daughters. Unfortunately, that is the closest they have. “A hug from her to you”

The difference between their situation and mine? Circumstance. I just happen to be born in Pennsylvania. They just happen to be born in El Porvenir, Honduras.

Sometimes, most of the time…almost always… I wish with all my heart, that I could change places. 

Bathrooms

It's been a while since I wrote. Actually, I have been wondering why, myself. This past week, a volunteer, Jim, had come back to Porvenir to build a bathroom. He has built several in town and now when he raises enough money, comes back and builds more. This week, the bathroom week, was amazing. Building a bathroom for a family who before used their backyard. They literally did not have anything. Not even a makeshift. We spent the week in the scorching sun, getting down and dirty and becoming closer and closer to the family. I played soccer, tag, duck duck goose, among many other games with the kids in the meantime. We even ate together. One special afternoon they decided to make us pineapple juice...which led to everyone throwing up and very VERY sick afterwards.

 

Their house consists of dirt floors, cardboard and wood slab walls and bed sheets for dividers between rooms. A bucket was placed in the middle of the room one rainy day to catch the leaky tin roof. They had chickens, dogs and a rabbit living in their house, along with the 12 family members. One evening I was in the house watching and chatting to the mother making baleadas. She had a plug in hot plate on a crooked table and the heat was overwhelming. I asked her why she didnt have a window so the heat could escape and she said it was so mosquitoes didn't come in. (Why they though the bed sheet as a door was any different, I dont know) There we were, crammed in this little tiny space, sweat pouring down my face and I couldn't have been happier.

 


The next day I was taking a break under the shade and watching little Danni play with his dog, Mariposa. He was in the doorway of his house, so content. As I sat there watching him, I realized something. No longer did I think or relate him to poverty. No longer did I look at their house and see, actually comprehend their cardboard walls. I didn't Judge them for not having a bathroom. I saw past their wooden "couch". What I saw was a mother who loves her son. A girl coming home from school. A father helping build his familys first ever shower. They were just a family. An awesome, fun, deserving family. I realized that Im no longer "seeing"poverty. To me, this is just how it is. This is normal. This is life.

I dont see a difference between my house and theirs. I see a family, siblings, and love, just like mine. We are all the same.  All made by the same loving creator.

1 John 4: 7-8

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.

Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

Round beads, colored beads, paper beads!

April 10^th I held my first bead class here in El Porvenir, Honduras. We now hold classes Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 2:30 in the afternoon.

A few weeks back my spirits were low. I felt like the women were never going to learn. I choose this location, Narciso Hernandez, one of the poorest parts of El Porvenir, thinking this class could benefit the women who would most likely need it. Little did I know, that several of these women had never used a ruler before. Some couldn’t even cut correctly. One women couldn’t grasp the concept of counting in two’s. I thought, this is never going to work. Well we kept meeting and the women kept going to class. I was amazed at their energy to work. Even though they couldn’t understand, they kept trying, kept practicing. They were even taking material after class to practice at home. The next day they would show me what they had done.

 “Yes, ok, but you still need to practice!”  - - This was my “polite” way to say you need to get better! However at times I had to throw in a “This one is good, but this one is bad” so they could tell which ones they got right and why.

Just this past week a few of the women have been bringing in their finished bracelets, necklaces and earrings. They have taken the initiative to come up with their own designs, buy their own materials and learn new techniques. Their work is amazing! I am excited to bring their work back to the states with me and sell them!

Here are a few pics:

 This little guy likes to keep an eye on things

Working hard!

Drying beads in a makeshift "drying rack"

Just keep rolling...

William and his bag of corn

It was Sunday afternoon, which of course means swimming with someone, somewhere. This past week Lis and I went to swim with children of a dear family of mine, Astrid, David, Jessy and William. As we are walking to their house, we pass William. “Where are you going? Hurry! Let’s go swim!” I say. His face lights up, he says he has to run an errand but will be right there. We continue walking and William starts to run the opposite direction to get what he needed. We arrive at the kids house, where Jessy is taking care of the kids by herself. Astrid is full of giggles and little David can’t stop smiling. At first he was a bit shy but as soon as we got to the river he starts playing crocodile and jumping right in. We spend time with the kids waiting for William thinking he is going to arrive any second. He never came. We head back to drop the kids off. William wasn’t at the house. Lis and I say goodbye to the kids and go on our way. Just a few houses down we run into William. His is crouched over in the middle of corn kernels that had spilled on the ground. His bag ripped and everything fell onto the dirt road. “How long have you been here?” I asked. “About an hour.” There was William, all my himself, picking up every last kernel that had fallen. Lis and I begin to help. Soon neighborhood kids come out and help us as well. William didn’t say a word. Not a single complaint. He had been there, the whole time we were swimming, picking up the fallen kernels. He is ten. A very humble ten year old. He could have been swimming with us, but instead he knew what he had to do. He didn’t stop until the last kernel was picked up. There Lis and I were helping him and our legs were hurting from bending over. He had been there the entire time and not a single word or complaint came from his mouth. My heart ached. I knew how bad he wanted to go swimming. We finished picking it all up and he finally spoke with a smile on his face… “Gracias” 

They can't go back...

This past Monday I was able to visit the kids and drop off monthly support in Jutiapa. I arrived to their house and couldn’t wipe the smile off my face (not that I wanted too!). They were all on the front porch, eating chicken feet and rice. Their hair was combed, they had on new hand-made skirts by the Aunt, and were happy to see me. They looked different.  I wasn’t sure what it was. I wouldn’t find out until later.

“They have very bad behaviors” the Aunt tells me. “Im working hard to pray and change them”. She pulls me aside to ask if I knew about any child abuse. I explained that I knew about a year ago, they were in a bad situation with the neighbor. I knew they were abused while living with her and during this time both parents abandoned the kids. I was sure this had a large impact on them. Well it did. In fact, there was more abuse than I even knew of. She began telling me awful things. Stories I can’t write in this blog. My eyes teared up.  My heart hurt. I didn’t know.

“They can’t go back, Catalina” She continues. The situation was much worse than either her or I expected. I asked how she knew these things. She tells me every night she sits down and talks with the kids. Just to get a better idea of where they are coming from and why they behave the way they do. They sing songs and talk about the day. She loves them. She doesn’t just provide a roof and food on the table. She loves them. They needed this love. This unconditional love. 

They go to church. They have a network of supporters who are praying for the children. Neighbors give their unwanted clothes and shoes. Local mini stores lend food to the Aunt until she is able to pay for it. She knows God will provide. Her husband is not working. She sews for her neighbors. This is their only income. I was able to drop off some support for the kids but I still hope to find a few more sponsors.

…

I spoke with Danilo (the kids dad). I ran into him in the neighborhood the other day. He was sitting on a log. We began to talk a bit, he asked how his kids were and soon a tear ran down his face. He began to tell me he was hurting. He had no one now. Fanny (his wife) left to be with another man and his kids were gone. He said “Catalina, I go to bed at 9 and just cry. I feel like I have no reason to live. Sometimes I want to kill myself. I don’t know why I’m telling you this but I trust you.” Tears are running down his face. He tells me he wants to work. But he can’t read or write. He hasn’t passed the 6^th grade. We sit in quiet.

A few days later he comes to my house. Good news he says. I am learning to read and write. I want to pass school so I can work and provide for my children. “Where are you going?” I ask because he looks dressed up. “Church, I have been going now.” I am happy. I have been praying for this. Praise God. Bless his heart.

Please keep Danilo and his children in your prayers. Please prayerfully consider being a huge blessing to this family by becoming a monthly sponsor. 

Please log onto www.findinghopehonduras.org for more information on sponsors

A new home

A few days ago the Aunt of Nayeli, Denadi, Michele, and Josue decided to take all 4 kids in. AMAZING. I almost fell to my knees. All 4 children. What a blessing. I love that she cares so deeply for these kids.

It’s 8 AM and I arrive at the kids’ house. There they are, the parents and the kids, ready to go. However, the parents weren’t going to go with us. Miladys came along to help me move the kids to Jutiapa. I had bought them a backpack full of food to get them started off in their new home. I had their uniforms, school supplies, shoes, toothbrushes, and toothpaste. There we were, Miladys and I with the four kids. My backpack full of supplies and the kids had one suitcase with all their belongings in it. We waited in silence for the bus to drive by. No one made eye contact with anyone. Fanny and Danillo said a teary goodbye. Even Miladys cried. I cant imagine what saying goodbye to your kids like that would be like, and I hope I never do. Michele hugged me. Wouldn’t let go. She had her arms wrapped around me and rested her head on me. I ran my hand over her tangly, dirty, rough hair. We got on the bus and began our trip to their new home.

Once in Jutiapa the Aunt, Berta greeted us with big hugs. The kids immediately began to play. Josue was playing with another little girl about his age. He was happy. One of Berta’s sons was there, 12 years old, he began a game of ball in the backyard. A few neighborhood kids came out to play. My heart was so, so happy.

Miladys and I sat and talked with Berta, and began to help her make lunch. I expressed how appreciative I was and that even if the parents didn’t say it, “thank you” on their behalf. She was telling us how her family was excited to have the kids come. Even her two sons. The 12 year old, had been asking all morning, are they here yet? When will they get here? How much longer? Shouldn’t they be here by now?

Lunch was served. Rice, pasta, guineo (unripe green banana). Everyone was happy and full. Which only meant it was bathroom time. However, for Josue that meant taking his pants off and pooping in the side yard by crouching down. “NO JOSUE, NOT THERE!” I yelled. I told Berta I was sorry for how they behaved and she would need to work on that little by little. She understood. “That will all change, Catalina”.

We said our goodbyes. I told the kids I loved them and I was proud of them. I would be back. I was happy. I wasn’t sad because I knew I couldn’t be. This is where they needed to be! I couldn’t have been happier. 

Here are these precious children:

Nayeli: Nayeli will go far. She did good in school last year and will be entering second grade this year. I am happy for her. She is a smart 10 year old girl and deserves so much more.

Denadi: An 8 year old with way too much responsibility. She has a cute dark complexion and skinny little body, with a beautiful smile! She has learned way too much from her mother, and needs to learn to just be 8! Denadi will be entering first grade this year!

Michele: Where’s Michele? Oh yeah, grabbing onto my shirt. She is always latched onto someone. She doesn’t talk much and may have a learning disability. Michele is 6 and will be entering Kindergarten!

Josue: The cutest 3 year old you have ever seen. He is so lovable and loves, loves, loves the attention. How can you not give him all your love? Josue will be keeping Berta’s hands full!

I am currently looking for sponsors for these four children. At 50 dollars a month per child, this will provide everything needed, from school supplies and fees, food, medicine, clothes, etc. I am in constant communication with Berta and the family. I will be checking up on the kids, visiting them, and making sure they are in a good place. Please keep these kids in your prayers. Please help me find sponsors. Contact me at katem602@gmail.com if you or someone you know would like to support or help support one of these children.