Babies, babies and more babies

So many new babies born recently my heart can’t take it!

This is sweet Jan Jordan born the early morning of January 13, 2014. Just 2 days ago! Mother, Pamela gave birth at home, with luckily a smooth and safe birth. 

Meet baby girl with no name (yet that is). I offered up the name Catalina but I guess they need to think over it, haha. She was born also on January 13, later that night! Yasmira (15 year old mother) also gave a home birth. Miladys was a busy midwife for both moms! Too bad both babies were born at night, otherwise I would have been there to experience the birth!

Next, we have Isis (born about a month ago). Kerlin is the mother, also a member of the womens work program, bracelet making! …speaking of which, I need a name for this group, got any suggestions?... 

This is Sonia’s new baby boy (which I forgot his name). Her daughter Brittany was in Kinder when I taught there. Unfortunately, her husband was shot and killed in August (http://katlyninhonduras.blogspot.com/2013_08_01_archive.html ) and will never know his little baby boy. 

 Lastly, this is Sandras little boy, who was born just a week before baby Jostin passed away in November. (http://katlyninhonduras.blogspot.com/2013_11_01_archive.html)

Little Estephen was born just before Christmas (no picture) and I am still expecting several other babies to be born in the next few months! Yikes.

As I sat holding each and every one of these babies tears filled my eyes. My heart ached for them. My thoughts were consumed with their precious lives. They don’t know the life they have been born into.

Pain

Suffering

Heartache

My thoughts turned to their future. What would they be like as they grow up? Will they also have a child at the age of 15? Will they be the first in their family to attend high school? Will they be involved in drugs? Do they know their families are already struggling to provide and now they have another mouth to feed? I wonder about these questions. I wonder about their little bodies. About who they are. About who they will be. 

Im at Pamelas house and I look around. I see cardboard walls. I see the outside from holes in the floor of the house. I see a roof caving in. I see the dirt floor. I also see a mother. A mother who cares so much about her new baby boy. I see his name written on a piece of paper “Jan Jordan” next to her bed. She asks me if that is how to spell it. I see a father cooking rice and beans while his wife rests. This is rare. But this is love. They ask me to borrow money since Fernando (the father) hasn’t been paid at work yet. “Yes of course”. We sit in silence. Jan, just a day old, rests in my arms. I love him. I love this family. This is what makes my heart sing. No matter how hard this family might have it, no matter if they have food on Monday or not, they have love.

I sit with Kerlin. I enter her house, ducking on the way in as to not hit my head on the tin roof hanging down. I duck again as I enter her room. There are things nailed to the walls to make space. A puddle gathers by the door from a leak. It makes it muddy. She is with her new baby. The grandmother offers me something to drink. I never turn it down (here that is rude, even if you don’t want it, you must take it!). So I take it. Yucky banana soda…I sit with baby Isis and make small talk with the family. **Please pray for this family. This is Kerlins info card for her bracelets. 

“Meet Kerlin. She is an 18 year old young woman who lives with 8 other family members in a humble home. The family’s only source of income results from the efforts of the grandfather who is restrained to a wheelchair. His street begging feeds the family of 9. When asked what happens when there is no money for food, Kerlin’s mother explains, “We deal with it, what else can we do?” Due to financial restraints, Kerlin only attended school up until the 5^th grade. She wants to be a part of Finding Hope to learn something new. She says she will help her family buy food and other necessities with the profits she makes.”

Then I sit with Yasmira. She is 15. This is her second baby. I worry about her. Her first baby only lived 3 days due to a lung problem. The father is older. Much older. She is too young. She doesn’t understand and her mother doesn’t do anything about it. I am scared for this little baby. Yasmira isn’t ready to care for a child, still a child herself. I don’t want to leave. I want to hold his baby forever.

I want to hold each baby forever. I want to give them a future. I want to give them my love. I want them to know they are special. I want to show them Jesus. 

What 2013 brought me..

As I sit here and think of 2013, I think of where I was a year back. A year before one of the greatest years of my life. I think of how lost I was. If you followed my blog in Nicaragua, you know I was aching. I was trying to find where I belong. I was trying to find God's will for my life. It soon became clear I was meant to be back in Honduras...and thats where I went. 

So here is what this year was all about for my ministry! 

I arrived in El Porvenir the first week of February with many ideas, thoughts and plans in mind. Little did I know what God had waiting for me! In April, I began a sustainable bead work program for women, which had such a considerable impact that I began a second group in June. There are 17 women in the program making bracelets from recycled magazines. Their children and families have received substantial benefits from these bracelets. Their proceeds have been able to buy school supplies, medicine, food, and more. It’s been awesome to see them improve in their work but also grow to know them more personally. 

In July, I met with the city board members of El Porvenir to present Finding Hope’s mission and purpose. Just two weeks after meeting with the board, they donated a great piece of land to the Women and Children Center. In August, I received the official documentation of the land, and 3 days later, we began to land fill and place a temporary fence on the lot. A local missionary couple, Scott and Susan Ledford, through Missionary Ventures, have partnered with me on this project and are heading mission teams throughout the construction process. In November, a Canadian team came down and we were able to fully complete the foundation. In December a second team came to help with the floor level construction! We will have ample space for the children center, an office, the beading program and a sewing cooperative! 

This year I was also able to start a sponsorship program with 6 children each in the program for different needs. There are Nayeli, Denadi, Michele and Josue, four siblings taken from their abusive, neglectful, drug and alcoholic parents, whom have overcome obstacles most of us can never even imagine. In March they moved in with their aunt where all 4 kids are now safe, fed and loved. Then there is Johanna, whose mother could not afford school supplies to send her to school. This year she received materials, a backpack and uniform to be able to attend school! Lastly, there is Jostin, whom mournfully passed away November 8^th at just 7 months old. He suffered from a congenital heart defect which prevented him from getting the amount of oxygen his little body required. Jostin received help for his specific needs but unfortunately his illness was so progressed, he could not make it to one year. 

Just recently I was able to start a Sunday school, partnering with a local Pastor and feeding center. Teaching the word of God to these little ones has been such a joy! Being a part of their lives in such a personal way and connecting with their families has been the biggest blessing. This year has been full of surprises, relationships, emotional rollercoasters and spiritual growth. It may not be easy but it’s definitely worth it. I am even more grateful for where God has placed me and this mission and very excited to see what the New Year brings!

I am so blessed. This was an exciting year and I would like to thank you for partnering with me and Finding Hope. None of this could have ever happened or grown to where we are today without you. Thank you for your support financially and spiritually. If you haven’t already, please “like” Finding Hope on Facebook and visit www.findinghopehonduras.org for more updates and pictures! With the New Year brings many more needs into the ministry. If you are able to help please consider being a monthly sponsor and be a part of something big. Click the “donate” link on the website and sign up! Our biggest need is help with construction costs so that we can complete the center and start accepting kids!

When is there not an adventure when Dan and Ally come to visit?

I am very proud to update this blog saying that the foundation is complete on the Finding Hope property! Scott and Susan had a mission team in from Canada and with their help we were able to complete the foundation of the building! Shortly after Christmas we will continue floor level! Praises for this awesome accomplishment!

Allison and Dan were here visiting just a week ago and we had an awesome-crazy-adventurous but very short time. It all started by surprising them at the airport with three of their favorite little girls from El Porvenir. We took a taxi for the 3 hour drive. Let me start out by saying I had just met Antonio our taxi driver 5 minutes before leaving on our trip and by the end we were best of friends. On our way (driving at night) we had a pepsi break, flat tire and stopped by police. Once Ally and Dan arrived we strapped their 4 suitcases of donations onto the back of the taxi and 7 of us piled into the small car. We thought we were golden…that was until our “headlights” failed us, we didn’t see the massive gaping hole in the road, and we got another flat tire. By this time its 11 at night, pitch black and in a very dangerous part of the highway. Luckily a tow truck passes by. Instead of us getting out of the taxi into the tow truck, we stay in the car, as its being lifted up and tied down. So there we are, traveling on a highway, on top of a towtruck, in the car. We pull off, change our tire (with a used tire that had a hole in it but no biggie, just patch that sucker up) and we are on our way. Just the start of Dan and Allys visit.

The week was awesome but we barely had time to breathe. From working on Finding Hope property, visiting the sponsored kids, eating with and visiting families, karaoke night with the firefighters and everything else in between. 

It was their last day, Tuesday and we decide to head over to Miladys to play with the kids. Miguel (a 20 year old boy who lives there) came out of his house in serious pain. Allison asked him a few questions, felt his stomach where he was hurting and said he possibly has Appendicitis. He says he doesn’t want to go to the hospital from fear and no money to pay. She explains if it bursts that he would die very shortly after. Allison and Dan agree to pay whatever it costs. “Were not going to sit here and let him die”. Miguel agrees. We take him to the health center in El Porvenir and the nurse doesn’t think its Appendicitis but rather a kidney issue. We then send him to the hospital to get tests done. Well, Appendicitis it is. He went into surgery that night. The doctor said if he hadn’t come in that day, he wouldn’t have made it.

Allison and Dan leave Wednesday morning and right after Miladys and I head to the hospital to see Miguel. Oh the hospital. How to even explain the pure terror and chaos it is. For one, about 60% of the floor tiles are missing and there are holes in the ground. It was raining that day and the ceiling was leaking throughout the entire hospital. There are shattered windows, ant trails on the walls, and lets not even talk about “the” bathroom. Then we go into one room where Miladys points out something on display. Preserved babies that died in the womb. In display bottles. One had its thumb in its mouth. Yes, dead. Real babies. On display. That’s all I will say about that. 

After a few hours of waiting, Miguel is discharged and we get to leave that hell hole. One our way out a couple is sitting on the floor, sobbing, with a baby in their arms. Just sitting there in the hallway. Dead.

Its now 5 days later and Miguel is recovering just fine. He was only given 3 stiches so the wound was a bit more open than it should have been. The surgery was only $25 so I guess you get what you pay for. $25 for the surgery. Yep. Miguel is forever grateful to Allison and Dan. Its hard because they aren’t here to see him after the ordeal but Miguel has said thank you to me every chance he has. He wrote me the following note

“Hello Catalina. I give thanks to God for putting this very special miracle in my life. I am so proud to know you and Allison and Dan and I pray my God is always with you. You will always be on my mind in and in my heart. I hope to be able to help you someday however I can. I love you.”

Please continue prayers for Miguels recovery!

…Oh yeah, I said the taxi driver was now best of friends? During the time Allison and Dan were here, he invited us over to his house for dinner, we met his daughter (also named Allison), we gave him some baby clothes for her and on Ally and Dans last night, he came to say goodbye and bought them Honduras t-shirts! He also invited me over to spend Christmas with his family and watch the annual tradition of killing a pig…oh, my.

Its been a crazy fun last few weeks and I finally get a chance to relax. I have had an awful cough for almost 2 weeks and catches me short of breath. The past two days I have also had a piercing pain in my stomach that wont seem to go away. Please prays that this soon passes!

So much news.

The ups and down of being back in Porvenir.

For those who don’t know, I was back in the States for 2 months. Allison and Dan got married and the wedding was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen! I could barely stop crying. Video http://vimeo.com/75975381 We also had a fundraiser garage sale for Finding Hope (www.findinghopehonduras.org) which was a huge success! I watched a bunch of TV and ate a bunch of food (in order to catch up what I missed out on)…but now I am happy to be back to work!

Coming back after two months being gone has its challenges. For one, everyone wants to tell me about everything. Ok great, you say. Well yes, but not all is good news. Here are the updates Ive been included in, and now you will be:

-        - The 13 year old who was pregnant last year, and her baby passed away after 3 days old, is pregnant again. Also, a 16 year old I just met is pregnant and also has Anemia.

-        -  Fanny, the mother of 4 kids in my sponsorship program was pregnant and had an abortion

-        -  Jostin, another child in my sponsorship program, at 7 months old, passed away Friday November 8^th from a heart/lung defect. Oh how my heart aches for his sweet life.

-        -  Rebecca, the mother of 4, is pregnant again and going through a rough time. She is back to leaving her children home alone, unfed and unclothed throughout the day. Rumors are she is going to give the baby away. Please prayers for this new little one.

-        -  Rosa is very sick with possibly a tumor and her husband just had surgery a few weeks ago and is now recovering

-        -  Alexa’s father left her, her siblings, and her mother. The mother is now struggling to provide and Alexa is falling behind in school.

-        -  Everyone and their mother needs something from me…

On a lighter note:

-        -  The women in my beading program are thrilled to receive payment from two months. They were interviewed on TV about the work they are doing!

-        -  Juana is pregnant (shhh it’s a secret) J

-       -   I got to meet baby Josue at 15 days old…the new brother of two local children whom I love!

-         - Alejandra and Andrea are excelling in bilingual school! They were the best students after returning from vacations and are doing fabulous this school year. We are now working on their Visas!

After receiving all this news within 4 days my heart is overwhelmed. I want to help them all but I just cant. I can only love these families and encourage their struggles they are trying to overcome. I can only show them I care and pray for them. There is only so much I can help with. I hate that.

My biggest ache is little Jostin. I ran into his mother Thursday night when I got in, to hear the awful news. Just a week earlier he passed away. His mother is going through a hard time now dealing with his loss. She looks fine on the outside but I can see in her eyes her pain.

Attention is being drawn towards the youngest child now, Melbin (pictured little boy on the left). She is dressing him in younger clothes, carrying him in the stroller and babying him now that Jostin is gone. Thankfully she is attending church and seeking prayer. My hope is that the other children can overcome this great loss of their little brother.  

One of the biggest ups is the joy the women received from being paid for their bracelets sold. From over two months of not receiving payment, they were very excited for my return. In one of the locations where we meet Mondays and Fridays, is my biggest group of women, 13. We had a meeting on Monday to go over some things and inform them of happenings in the near future. It was a short meeting, they got paid and went home. Friday was our second meeting and they threw a pizza party for me! Silvia says “We wanted to show you our thanks and appreciation for how much you have helped us and the blessing you have been in our lives”. My heart melted! Everyone chipped in money and Gaby and Amparo cooked the pizzas just before the meeting. So sweet! … Then as we were eating Pizza I began to talk about how construction will be starting on Monday for the center ( I will get to this in a second) and that I would need their help in this. As this is a center for them, they need to put in volunteer work as the building is being done. After making a list of who would be helping each day, they started to talk about how they could help raise money. I mentioned that the building will be done in steps because I don’t have all the money right now. They started talking about fundraising themselves to buy cement/blocks/materials to help. All these ideas were being thrown around on how to fundraise. I was literally overjoyed. It’s so cool to see them taking the initiative!!!

So yes! Construction starts Monday! Scott and Susan (other missionaries in town) have a small group coming in next week, so along with their money and money that I raised from the garage sale, we will be able to start a bit on the foundation! YES!! Of course pictures are to come next week so be sure to check Finding Hope on facebook!

Its so good to be back J Please pray for the many many bits of news from this blog!

Circumstance

I was on the bus coming back from Ceiba just the other day and two of my favorite little girls got on. Brittany and Alexa jump into my lap to sit with me. After big hugs Brittany says “Catalina, can I tell you something?” “Sure!” I say. “My daddy died” she replied.

Brittany’s dad died just a few weeks ago after being shot and killed. There are two stories explaining his death. The first is that he was being robbed (riding a motorcycle home from work) and the other is that this person who killed him, wanted his job. Either way should give you a good idea of how the economic situation is here in Honduras. Sadly, a 5 year old little girl doesn’t have her daddy anymore.

This conversation with Brittany made me think about the many families I know here in El Porvenir with heart breaking stories. Last week, I met Ondina, a middle aged woman who lost her sons, her husband and her brother. I am unaware of her full story but just 5 minutes into meeting her and asking about her life, she was in tears. This dear woman is afraid for her life. She lost everything she ever knew.

There is Danillo. Gaby’s husband. Mario. Celina. Berta’s cousin. Maria’s uncle. The list goes on. All trying to make their way for the “American Dream”. Desperately wanting to work. Their only solution? To risk their life by going to the states illegally. Tortured. Put through hell to just try and make a few bucks. And that money? Not even for them! They will send it home for their family.  I have been interviewing several women in the bead program (www.findinghopehonduras.org) just about their lives, their work, their families, etc. Wanna know what the number one answer is when I ask about jobs? “I would LOVE to work, there is just nothing available.” Here are a few answers

-          “I tried to find work in several restaurants in the city. I am 35 years old. They said they wouldn’t hire me because they are only looking for attractive 18-25 year olds.”

-          “I graduated high school with specialized studies in Accounting. However, there are no jobs hiring”

-          “I am a teacher! I have been for years. I still teach. But I don’t get paid. The government hasn’t paid its teachers in months”

-          “Honestly, I would work in whatever I found. If it meant house cleaning, I’ll do it. If it means cooking, I’ll do it. It could be office work, construction, department store assistants, selling food on the side of the road. Even though I went to high school, it really doesn’t matter, I will take whatever comes my way.”

Then there are the twins and their cousins, whom I help tutor once a week. Alejandra and Andrea are ten years old. Their mother left to the United States when they were just two, in order to provide for her children. She has been there ever since. The only mom they know is through Skype. They are living with their grandma, along with a houseful of cousins and extended family members. Their cousins, just the same, must deal with mom living so far away. Mom who cannot come visit them, if she does she will not be allowed to return to the states. Mom, whom they cannot hug.

I can’t forget about little baby Jostin. Jostin is 5 months old dealing with so much. His two main arteries are leading to only one lung, where they should be leading to both. He only receives half the oxygen that his body needs. As a result, he has blue fingertips, blue palms, blue toes, blue lips and a blue face when he cries or coughs (which happens more often than not). In addition, his mother cannot afford the right milk for an infant as his age. He is not getting the proper nutrition he needs, on top of his breathing problems. His body is so small. He is so fragile. He needs surgery. The doctors here (Honduras) cannot help him. He needs the expertise and equipment that doctors in the U.S. can perform for him, but he is Honduran. This surgery is long overdue. It may be too late. He is suffering because his country can’t help him. His mother can’t help him. (Don’t worry, I have an army of supporters in the states who are working hard on finding a solution for little baby Jostin. Please keep him in your prayers as we are trying our best!)

There are cases and cases just like these. What hurts the most is that I have seen both sides. It breaks my heart to see Bessy talk to mom on the phone telling her about a funny story that happened today. Then to meet Bessy’s mom in the states and have her ask me (because the Bessy she left behind was years ago) “How is my daughter? Is she skinny? What do you guys play together? Is she learning a lot?”. I have met the mothers. I have laughed, talked, and played with the daughters. Unfortunately, that is the closest they have. “A hug from her to you”

The difference between their situation and mine? Circumstance. I just happen to be born in Pennsylvania. They just happen to be born in El Porvenir, Honduras.

Sometimes, most of the time…almost always… I wish with all my heart, that I could change places. 

Bathrooms

It's been a while since I wrote. Actually, I have been wondering why, myself. This past week, a volunteer, Jim, had come back to Porvenir to build a bathroom. He has built several in town and now when he raises enough money, comes back and builds more. This week, the bathroom week, was amazing. Building a bathroom for a family who before used their backyard. They literally did not have anything. Not even a makeshift. We spent the week in the scorching sun, getting down and dirty and becoming closer and closer to the family. I played soccer, tag, duck duck goose, among many other games with the kids in the meantime. We even ate together. One special afternoon they decided to make us pineapple juice...which led to everyone throwing up and very VERY sick afterwards.

 

Their house consists of dirt floors, cardboard and wood slab walls and bed sheets for dividers between rooms. A bucket was placed in the middle of the room one rainy day to catch the leaky tin roof. They had chickens, dogs and a rabbit living in their house, along with the 12 family members. One evening I was in the house watching and chatting to the mother making baleadas. She had a plug in hot plate on a crooked table and the heat was overwhelming. I asked her why she didnt have a window so the heat could escape and she said it was so mosquitoes didn't come in. (Why they though the bed sheet as a door was any different, I dont know) There we were, crammed in this little tiny space, sweat pouring down my face and I couldn't have been happier.

 


The next day I was taking a break under the shade and watching little Danni play with his dog, Mariposa. He was in the doorway of his house, so content. As I sat there watching him, I realized something. No longer did I think or relate him to poverty. No longer did I look at their house and see, actually comprehend their cardboard walls. I didn't Judge them for not having a bathroom. I saw past their wooden "couch". What I saw was a mother who loves her son. A girl coming home from school. A father helping build his familys first ever shower. They were just a family. An awesome, fun, deserving family. I realized that Im no longer "seeing"poverty. To me, this is just how it is. This is normal. This is life.

I dont see a difference between my house and theirs. I see a family, siblings, and love, just like mine. We are all the same.  All made by the same loving creator.

1 John 4: 7-8

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.

Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

Round beads, colored beads, paper beads!

April 10^th I held my first bead class here in El Porvenir, Honduras. We now hold classes Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 2:30 in the afternoon.

A few weeks back my spirits were low. I felt like the women were never going to learn. I choose this location, Narciso Hernandez, one of the poorest parts of El Porvenir, thinking this class could benefit the women who would most likely need it. Little did I know, that several of these women had never used a ruler before. Some couldn’t even cut correctly. One women couldn’t grasp the concept of counting in two’s. I thought, this is never going to work. Well we kept meeting and the women kept going to class. I was amazed at their energy to work. Even though they couldn’t understand, they kept trying, kept practicing. They were even taking material after class to practice at home. The next day they would show me what they had done.

 “Yes, ok, but you still need to practice!”  - - This was my “polite” way to say you need to get better! However at times I had to throw in a “This one is good, but this one is bad” so they could tell which ones they got right and why.

Just this past week a few of the women have been bringing in their finished bracelets, necklaces and earrings. They have taken the initiative to come up with their own designs, buy their own materials and learn new techniques. Their work is amazing! I am excited to bring their work back to the states with me and sell them!

Here are a few pics:

 This little guy likes to keep an eye on things

Working hard!

Drying beads in a makeshift "drying rack"

Just keep rolling...