Rebeccas baby

In my last blog, I talked about being overwhelmed. About needing time to myself. How I felt like I couldn’t help everyone that needed something from me. I was feeling stretched to my limits. Well, a lot of this had to do with school starting. School uniforms and school supplies were being bought, students were registering in classes, and everything else in between had been going on. For several kids in town, who are part of my sponsorship program, I was able to buy or have donated what they needed to start classes on time. Everything from shoes, notebooks, backpacks, uniforms and pencils. Its safe to say the owner was very happy for my business that day.

One family, who is very dear to me, is Rebecca and her 4 kids. Rebecca, 25 years old, is a single mother (father in and out of the picture) trying to “raise” and “support” her children, all under the age of 8. Rebecca has a few personal issues of her own which makes it hard for her to be a “good” mother. Brayan, her 8 year old son, was in Kinder with me 3 years ago, where I first met Rebecca and the family. I met her youngest daughter Juliana (who was just one month old) my first week ever in Honduras. I love seeing the kids grow up, especially in their first years, where they change the most. With seeing them grow up, also comes a deep emotional connection.

As school was starting, I made my way to Rebeccas house to check if she would send her kids to school this year. (Last year was one excuse after another). She said yes but that her twins, Andrea and Royle didn’t have birth certificates and without them, the couldn’t go. Why one would wait 7 years to get birth certificates for their kids, I will never understand. “Well, lets get them then” I said, not knowing what I was getting myself into. So we began our forever – almost impossible adventure of getting birth certificates. (read about this process in a blog I posted 3 years ago http://katlyninhonduras.blogspot.com/2011/06/its-like-were-in-nyc.html its after the tarantula story)

To make a long story short, one morning Rebecca shows up at my house. She shows me the papers and copies she was able to gather and asks me to keep them so they wouldn’t get lost. We start talking about other things like how things are at home, her nonexistent boyfriend and her pregnancy, then she pauses… “Catalina, would you like to have my baby?”

Would I like to have her unborn baby? My throat closes up and Im speechless. She continues…”Because this is my 5^th child, I don’t work and I already have 4 children. I came to ask you because I don’t know anyone else to ask.

I ended up telling her that I would love to take her baby but that I don’t have a stable job or home. I explained to her that I would help take care of the baby whenever she needed me and help with food/medicine/whatever else, until she found a place for the baby. I would help her through this process as well as to look for an orphanage or another option.

So we did. We visited an childrens home and talked about options. I gave her advice as best I could but ultimately the final decision was hers. Then the day came. Friday, March 7^th, I get a call at 4 am in the morning, “Catalina, Im in labor” I rush to Miladys house where Rebecca had planned to give a home birth. 

With pajamas still on and camera ready to roll, we waited. And waited and waited. Finally 11:30 am came around and Miladys recommended we go to the hospital in case there was a complication. Rebecca was against the idea for fear of the hospital (here I would be too, I don’t blame her)

We flagged down a taxi. Already two people in it and Rebecca, myself and her cousin, Samantha were still to get in. No big deal. Rebecca gets in the front seat and the taxi driver asks if her water will break on his seat…haha….so the four of us get in the backseat piled like little kids. On the way to La Ceiba, Rebecca continues her contractions. Seems like the taxi ride is making them come faster. All I can think about is the internet article Allison read about “How to give birth in a taxi” and just hoping that doesn’t happen.

We first arrive to get an ultrasound to make sure the baby is okay. The technician is on lunch break, of course. She comes back and everything shows up fine. It’s a baby boy! We pay the lady and grab a taxi to head to the hospital. Rebeccas contractions are getting worse. First, though, we had to stop by a farmacy and pick up nailpolish remover (apparently if a C-section is necessary you cant have nail polish on). We finally get to the emergency room and go in. No one is there to greet us or tell us where to go. Rebecca has a strong contraction so she stops and I go ahead to figure out where to go. Finally. Rebecca comes over and sits down in a chair where a doctor begins to attend to her. I was told I needed to go register her. With her id number just written down on a piece of paper I go to the register window to wait in line. In front of me is a baby with a broken wrist and a makeshift cast who just vomited all over the floor. Behind me is a construction worker who looks like he cut half his hand with a machete and blood is dripping everywhere. But there we all were, waiting in line to register before being attended too. That’s finished and I go back to the nurse and Rebecca. Samantha is on the floor on her hands and knees taking off Rebeccas nail polish as she is contracting in the chair. The nurse gives me a list of supplies I have to go buy. The hospital doesn’t have anything there, you have to go outside to a little hut and buy the gloves, needles, test tubes, IVs and whatever else. Once that is done I make my way through construction tape in the hospital to find labor and delivery. Found! Rebecca is admitted. Now were given her blood sample to take to the lab.

About 3 hours later we try to investigate Rebeccas situation. No one came out to tell us she had given birth or that it was a good delivery or anything. We caught her being transferred to recovery, wheeling across the construction site hospital.

Here is where all the women stay overnight. In the same bed as their baby. We didn’t know we were supposed to bring our own sheets for Rebecca so she slept on the plastic mattress. See that window in the back? Its broken, leading to the outside where its pouring down rain.

Here he is 18 days old! I got the entire morning to love this little guy J

As for now, Rebecca has a great opportunity working for an extended family member. She cleans and cooks for distant cousins and is given a room for her and her kids. She no longer has to live in a makeshift house of wood and tarp and worry about paying her $15 monthly rent. Being in this new location, also gives her the benefits of having other people around to help with her new baby. Samantha, has said she would like to take care of the baby as well. For now, this seems like a good solution. I will also be around to check on the kids and make sure things are running like they should. Please keep Rebecca and her family in your prayers. She believes in some weird things in regards to evil spirits that can harm her baby. Unfortunately this is way too common here in El Porvenir, even affecting the doctors in terms of prescribing medicine (ex. cant take until after the full moon). Please pray that they will look to the Lord in times like this. Please pray that she finds her worth as a mother and her importance in her kids lives. 

A letter

For the past few weeks, I have been feeling very overwhelmed. I felt like everyone needed something from me from the moment I woke up, until the time I went to bed. My phone never stops ringing. Some days when I just need to be home for “me” time, they end up being the busiest of days. People find me. They come to the house at 7:30 am. They wake me up. My job is not a 9-5 one. It is not Monday through Friday. It is all day, everyday.

I have been feeling like its too much. Like I was being pushed and I just needed to get away. My visa renewal time came just a few days ago and I had to leave the country. It was just what I needed. A short, 3 day break. I went to Guatemala, only to find out I had to go to Belize to get my new 90 day visa. So I did. I left Honduras and arrived in Guatemala on Tuesday, then Wednesday hopped in a small boat over to Belize, got my stamp and came back, the same day. Thursday I ate pizza, icecream, chips and french fries and loved every minute of it. I watched TV in the hostal (wow I missed TV). It was wonderful. Friday I traveled 8 hours back to El Porvenir.

Today, Kenia, a young woman in my bracelet class came to my house. “Its starting again” I thought to myself. She told me she felt ashamed for what she was about to say. “What is it?” I asked. She said she wrote a letter but wasn’t sure if I could read Spanish so she was going to ask me anyways. Here is the translation of the letter (the same she told me in person):

“Hello Katlyn,

How are you?

I hope you are healthy and full of riches with the love of God.

The reason for this note is to ask for a big favor. I am writing to you because I do not have the courage to say it in person. Please excuse me. I feel very embarrassed.

Like I have told you before, my father passed away about 2 years ago and my mother is a widow. She currently does not have a stable job.

This year I would like to enter high school, as I am only missing one year until I graduate.

My mother does not have sufficient funds to help me. I also do not have support from my family.

For this, I am addressing you. I am not sure if you might be able to help by lending me 1,000 lempiras ($50) or whatever you can. I would pay it all back in 4 payments of 250 lempiras each, or you can deduct this amount from the next time I sell bracelets.

If you are able to lend me the money, I would like it for you to accompany me to the high school that I will be attending. Of course, only if it is not a bother. I hope you can help, as this is an emergency case because I don’t have anyone to go with me.

I hope you understand and I appreciate you with all my heart if you are able to do this for me.

Blessings,

Kenia”

Here I was thinking sweet Kenia needed something much bigger, or even something I may not have been able to give her. All she wanted was to be lent money. She wants to go back to school.  About 10 months ago, this is the information card I wrote about Kenia that goes with the bracelets.

“Meet Kenia, she is a 17 year old woman who lives with her 3 siblings and mother. Kenia was enrolled in high school but when her father passed away, her mother’s need for assistance required that she stop attending. Unfortunately, no one in her house works and the family must rely on help from their aunt. Kenia would like to go back to school, and for this reason, she has become a part of Finding Hope. Her proftis will be split between her mother’s financial needs and her savings for the next school year. She would love to study architecture, but says it depends on the type of work that is available”

I am happy to say just short of a year later, she is actually achieving this goal. She IS going back to high school and she WILL finish! Tuesday afternoon I will be going with her to the high school and help her enroll. I am honored that she would ask me to be there for her. I can’t even express how I feel seeing how Finding Hope is working in the lives of these women. To see where we were a year ago, to today, I feel gratified. I know this is the Lords work and for that I am satisfied. 

Babies, babies and more babies

So many new babies born recently my heart can’t take it!

This is sweet Jan Jordan born the early morning of January 13, 2014. Just 2 days ago! Mother, Pamela gave birth at home, with luckily a smooth and safe birth. 

Meet baby girl with no name (yet that is). I offered up the name Catalina but I guess they need to think over it, haha. She was born also on January 13, later that night! Yasmira (15 year old mother) also gave a home birth. Miladys was a busy midwife for both moms! Too bad both babies were born at night, otherwise I would have been there to experience the birth!

Next, we have Isis (born about a month ago). Kerlin is the mother, also a member of the womens work program, bracelet making! …speaking of which, I need a name for this group, got any suggestions?... 

This is Sonia’s new baby boy (which I forgot his name). Her daughter Brittany was in Kinder when I taught there. Unfortunately, her husband was shot and killed in August (http://katlyninhonduras.blogspot.com/2013_08_01_archive.html ) and will never know his little baby boy. 

 Lastly, this is Sandras little boy, who was born just a week before baby Jostin passed away in November. (http://katlyninhonduras.blogspot.com/2013_11_01_archive.html)

Little Estephen was born just before Christmas (no picture) and I am still expecting several other babies to be born in the next few months! Yikes.

As I sat holding each and every one of these babies tears filled my eyes. My heart ached for them. My thoughts were consumed with their precious lives. They don’t know the life they have been born into.

Pain

Suffering

Heartache

My thoughts turned to their future. What would they be like as they grow up? Will they also have a child at the age of 15? Will they be the first in their family to attend high school? Will they be involved in drugs? Do they know their families are already struggling to provide and now they have another mouth to feed? I wonder about these questions. I wonder about their little bodies. About who they are. About who they will be. 

Im at Pamelas house and I look around. I see cardboard walls. I see the outside from holes in the floor of the house. I see a roof caving in. I see the dirt floor. I also see a mother. A mother who cares so much about her new baby boy. I see his name written on a piece of paper “Jan Jordan” next to her bed. She asks me if that is how to spell it. I see a father cooking rice and beans while his wife rests. This is rare. But this is love. They ask me to borrow money since Fernando (the father) hasn’t been paid at work yet. “Yes of course”. We sit in silence. Jan, just a day old, rests in my arms. I love him. I love this family. This is what makes my heart sing. No matter how hard this family might have it, no matter if they have food on Monday or not, they have love.

I sit with Kerlin. I enter her house, ducking on the way in as to not hit my head on the tin roof hanging down. I duck again as I enter her room. There are things nailed to the walls to make space. A puddle gathers by the door from a leak. It makes it muddy. She is with her new baby. The grandmother offers me something to drink. I never turn it down (here that is rude, even if you don’t want it, you must take it!). So I take it. Yucky banana soda…I sit with baby Isis and make small talk with the family. **Please pray for this family. This is Kerlins info card for her bracelets. 

“Meet Kerlin. She is an 18 year old young woman who lives with 8 other family members in a humble home. The family’s only source of income results from the efforts of the grandfather who is restrained to a wheelchair. His street begging feeds the family of 9. When asked what happens when there is no money for food, Kerlin’s mother explains, “We deal with it, what else can we do?” Due to financial restraints, Kerlin only attended school up until the 5^th grade. She wants to be a part of Finding Hope to learn something new. She says she will help her family buy food and other necessities with the profits she makes.”

Then I sit with Yasmira. She is 15. This is her second baby. I worry about her. Her first baby only lived 3 days due to a lung problem. The father is older. Much older. She is too young. She doesn’t understand and her mother doesn’t do anything about it. I am scared for this little baby. Yasmira isn’t ready to care for a child, still a child herself. I don’t want to leave. I want to hold his baby forever.

I want to hold each baby forever. I want to give them a future. I want to give them my love. I want them to know they are special. I want to show them Jesus. 

What 2013 brought me..

As I sit here and think of 2013, I think of where I was a year back. A year before one of the greatest years of my life. I think of how lost I was. If you followed my blog in Nicaragua, you know I was aching. I was trying to find where I belong. I was trying to find God's will for my life. It soon became clear I was meant to be back in Honduras...and thats where I went. 

So here is what this year was all about for my ministry! 

I arrived in El Porvenir the first week of February with many ideas, thoughts and plans in mind. Little did I know what God had waiting for me! In April, I began a sustainable bead work program for women, which had such a considerable impact that I began a second group in June. There are 17 women in the program making bracelets from recycled magazines. Their children and families have received substantial benefits from these bracelets. Their proceeds have been able to buy school supplies, medicine, food, and more. It’s been awesome to see them improve in their work but also grow to know them more personally. 

In July, I met with the city board members of El Porvenir to present Finding Hope’s mission and purpose. Just two weeks after meeting with the board, they donated a great piece of land to the Women and Children Center. In August, I received the official documentation of the land, and 3 days later, we began to land fill and place a temporary fence on the lot. A local missionary couple, Scott and Susan Ledford, through Missionary Ventures, have partnered with me on this project and are heading mission teams throughout the construction process. In November, a Canadian team came down and we were able to fully complete the foundation. In December a second team came to help with the floor level construction! We will have ample space for the children center, an office, the beading program and a sewing cooperative! 

This year I was also able to start a sponsorship program with 6 children each in the program for different needs. There are Nayeli, Denadi, Michele and Josue, four siblings taken from their abusive, neglectful, drug and alcoholic parents, whom have overcome obstacles most of us can never even imagine. In March they moved in with their aunt where all 4 kids are now safe, fed and loved. Then there is Johanna, whose mother could not afford school supplies to send her to school. This year she received materials, a backpack and uniform to be able to attend school! Lastly, there is Jostin, whom mournfully passed away November 8^th at just 7 months old. He suffered from a congenital heart defect which prevented him from getting the amount of oxygen his little body required. Jostin received help for his specific needs but unfortunately his illness was so progressed, he could not make it to one year. 

Just recently I was able to start a Sunday school, partnering with a local Pastor and feeding center. Teaching the word of God to these little ones has been such a joy! Being a part of their lives in such a personal way and connecting with their families has been the biggest blessing. This year has been full of surprises, relationships, emotional rollercoasters and spiritual growth. It may not be easy but it’s definitely worth it. I am even more grateful for where God has placed me and this mission and very excited to see what the New Year brings!

I am so blessed. This was an exciting year and I would like to thank you for partnering with me and Finding Hope. None of this could have ever happened or grown to where we are today without you. Thank you for your support financially and spiritually. If you haven’t already, please “like” Finding Hope on Facebook and visit www.findinghopehonduras.org for more updates and pictures! With the New Year brings many more needs into the ministry. If you are able to help please consider being a monthly sponsor and be a part of something big. Click the “donate” link on the website and sign up! Our biggest need is help with construction costs so that we can complete the center and start accepting kids!

When is there not an adventure when Dan and Ally come to visit?

I am very proud to update this blog saying that the foundation is complete on the Finding Hope property! Scott and Susan had a mission team in from Canada and with their help we were able to complete the foundation of the building! Shortly after Christmas we will continue floor level! Praises for this awesome accomplishment!

Allison and Dan were here visiting just a week ago and we had an awesome-crazy-adventurous but very short time. It all started by surprising them at the airport with three of their favorite little girls from El Porvenir. We took a taxi for the 3 hour drive. Let me start out by saying I had just met Antonio our taxi driver 5 minutes before leaving on our trip and by the end we were best of friends. On our way (driving at night) we had a pepsi break, flat tire and stopped by police. Once Ally and Dan arrived we strapped their 4 suitcases of donations onto the back of the taxi and 7 of us piled into the small car. We thought we were golden…that was until our “headlights” failed us, we didn’t see the massive gaping hole in the road, and we got another flat tire. By this time its 11 at night, pitch black and in a very dangerous part of the highway. Luckily a tow truck passes by. Instead of us getting out of the taxi into the tow truck, we stay in the car, as its being lifted up and tied down. So there we are, traveling on a highway, on top of a towtruck, in the car. We pull off, change our tire (with a used tire that had a hole in it but no biggie, just patch that sucker up) and we are on our way. Just the start of Dan and Allys visit.

The week was awesome but we barely had time to breathe. From working on Finding Hope property, visiting the sponsored kids, eating with and visiting families, karaoke night with the firefighters and everything else in between. 

It was their last day, Tuesday and we decide to head over to Miladys to play with the kids. Miguel (a 20 year old boy who lives there) came out of his house in serious pain. Allison asked him a few questions, felt his stomach where he was hurting and said he possibly has Appendicitis. He says he doesn’t want to go to the hospital from fear and no money to pay. She explains if it bursts that he would die very shortly after. Allison and Dan agree to pay whatever it costs. “Were not going to sit here and let him die”. Miguel agrees. We take him to the health center in El Porvenir and the nurse doesn’t think its Appendicitis but rather a kidney issue. We then send him to the hospital to get tests done. Well, Appendicitis it is. He went into surgery that night. The doctor said if he hadn’t come in that day, he wouldn’t have made it.

Allison and Dan leave Wednesday morning and right after Miladys and I head to the hospital to see Miguel. Oh the hospital. How to even explain the pure terror and chaos it is. For one, about 60% of the floor tiles are missing and there are holes in the ground. It was raining that day and the ceiling was leaking throughout the entire hospital. There are shattered windows, ant trails on the walls, and lets not even talk about “the” bathroom. Then we go into one room where Miladys points out something on display. Preserved babies that died in the womb. In display bottles. One had its thumb in its mouth. Yes, dead. Real babies. On display. That’s all I will say about that. 

After a few hours of waiting, Miguel is discharged and we get to leave that hell hole. One our way out a couple is sitting on the floor, sobbing, with a baby in their arms. Just sitting there in the hallway. Dead.

Its now 5 days later and Miguel is recovering just fine. He was only given 3 stiches so the wound was a bit more open than it should have been. The surgery was only $25 so I guess you get what you pay for. $25 for the surgery. Yep. Miguel is forever grateful to Allison and Dan. Its hard because they aren’t here to see him after the ordeal but Miguel has said thank you to me every chance he has. He wrote me the following note

“Hello Catalina. I give thanks to God for putting this very special miracle in my life. I am so proud to know you and Allison and Dan and I pray my God is always with you. You will always be on my mind in and in my heart. I hope to be able to help you someday however I can. I love you.”

Please continue prayers for Miguels recovery!

…Oh yeah, I said the taxi driver was now best of friends? During the time Allison and Dan were here, he invited us over to his house for dinner, we met his daughter (also named Allison), we gave him some baby clothes for her and on Ally and Dans last night, he came to say goodbye and bought them Honduras t-shirts! He also invited me over to spend Christmas with his family and watch the annual tradition of killing a pig…oh, my.

Its been a crazy fun last few weeks and I finally get a chance to relax. I have had an awful cough for almost 2 weeks and catches me short of breath. The past two days I have also had a piercing pain in my stomach that wont seem to go away. Please prays that this soon passes!

So much news.

The ups and down of being back in Porvenir.

For those who don’t know, I was back in the States for 2 months. Allison and Dan got married and the wedding was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen! I could barely stop crying. Video http://vimeo.com/75975381 We also had a fundraiser garage sale for Finding Hope (www.findinghopehonduras.org) which was a huge success! I watched a bunch of TV and ate a bunch of food (in order to catch up what I missed out on)…but now I am happy to be back to work!

Coming back after two months being gone has its challenges. For one, everyone wants to tell me about everything. Ok great, you say. Well yes, but not all is good news. Here are the updates Ive been included in, and now you will be:

-        - The 13 year old who was pregnant last year, and her baby passed away after 3 days old, is pregnant again. Also, a 16 year old I just met is pregnant and also has Anemia.

-        -  Fanny, the mother of 4 kids in my sponsorship program was pregnant and had an abortion

-        -  Jostin, another child in my sponsorship program, at 7 months old, passed away Friday November 8^th from a heart/lung defect. Oh how my heart aches for his sweet life.

-        -  Rebecca, the mother of 4, is pregnant again and going through a rough time. She is back to leaving her children home alone, unfed and unclothed throughout the day. Rumors are she is going to give the baby away. Please prayers for this new little one.

-        -  Rosa is very sick with possibly a tumor and her husband just had surgery a few weeks ago and is now recovering

-        -  Alexa’s father left her, her siblings, and her mother. The mother is now struggling to provide and Alexa is falling behind in school.

-        -  Everyone and their mother needs something from me…

On a lighter note:

-        -  The women in my beading program are thrilled to receive payment from two months. They were interviewed on TV about the work they are doing!

-        -  Juana is pregnant (shhh it’s a secret) J

-       -   I got to meet baby Josue at 15 days old…the new brother of two local children whom I love!

-         - Alejandra and Andrea are excelling in bilingual school! They were the best students after returning from vacations and are doing fabulous this school year. We are now working on their Visas!

After receiving all this news within 4 days my heart is overwhelmed. I want to help them all but I just cant. I can only love these families and encourage their struggles they are trying to overcome. I can only show them I care and pray for them. There is only so much I can help with. I hate that.

My biggest ache is little Jostin. I ran into his mother Thursday night when I got in, to hear the awful news. Just a week earlier he passed away. His mother is going through a hard time now dealing with his loss. She looks fine on the outside but I can see in her eyes her pain.

Attention is being drawn towards the youngest child now, Melbin (pictured little boy on the left). She is dressing him in younger clothes, carrying him in the stroller and babying him now that Jostin is gone. Thankfully she is attending church and seeking prayer. My hope is that the other children can overcome this great loss of their little brother.  

One of the biggest ups is the joy the women received from being paid for their bracelets sold. From over two months of not receiving payment, they were very excited for my return. In one of the locations where we meet Mondays and Fridays, is my biggest group of women, 13. We had a meeting on Monday to go over some things and inform them of happenings in the near future. It was a short meeting, they got paid and went home. Friday was our second meeting and they threw a pizza party for me! Silvia says “We wanted to show you our thanks and appreciation for how much you have helped us and the blessing you have been in our lives”. My heart melted! Everyone chipped in money and Gaby and Amparo cooked the pizzas just before the meeting. So sweet! … Then as we were eating Pizza I began to talk about how construction will be starting on Monday for the center ( I will get to this in a second) and that I would need their help in this. As this is a center for them, they need to put in volunteer work as the building is being done. After making a list of who would be helping each day, they started to talk about how they could help raise money. I mentioned that the building will be done in steps because I don’t have all the money right now. They started talking about fundraising themselves to buy cement/blocks/materials to help. All these ideas were being thrown around on how to fundraise. I was literally overjoyed. It’s so cool to see them taking the initiative!!!

So yes! Construction starts Monday! Scott and Susan (other missionaries in town) have a small group coming in next week, so along with their money and money that I raised from the garage sale, we will be able to start a bit on the foundation! YES!! Of course pictures are to come next week so be sure to check Finding Hope on facebook!

Its so good to be back J Please pray for the many many bits of news from this blog!

Circumstance

I was on the bus coming back from Ceiba just the other day and two of my favorite little girls got on. Brittany and Alexa jump into my lap to sit with me. After big hugs Brittany says “Catalina, can I tell you something?” “Sure!” I say. “My daddy died” she replied.

Brittany’s dad died just a few weeks ago after being shot and killed. There are two stories explaining his death. The first is that he was being robbed (riding a motorcycle home from work) and the other is that this person who killed him, wanted his job. Either way should give you a good idea of how the economic situation is here in Honduras. Sadly, a 5 year old little girl doesn’t have her daddy anymore.

This conversation with Brittany made me think about the many families I know here in El Porvenir with heart breaking stories. Last week, I met Ondina, a middle aged woman who lost her sons, her husband and her brother. I am unaware of her full story but just 5 minutes into meeting her and asking about her life, she was in tears. This dear woman is afraid for her life. She lost everything she ever knew.

There is Danillo. Gaby’s husband. Mario. Celina. Berta’s cousin. Maria’s uncle. The list goes on. All trying to make their way for the “American Dream”. Desperately wanting to work. Their only solution? To risk their life by going to the states illegally. Tortured. Put through hell to just try and make a few bucks. And that money? Not even for them! They will send it home for their family.  I have been interviewing several women in the bead program (www.findinghopehonduras.org) just about their lives, their work, their families, etc. Wanna know what the number one answer is when I ask about jobs? “I would LOVE to work, there is just nothing available.” Here are a few answers

-          “I tried to find work in several restaurants in the city. I am 35 years old. They said they wouldn’t hire me because they are only looking for attractive 18-25 year olds.”

-          “I graduated high school with specialized studies in Accounting. However, there are no jobs hiring”

-          “I am a teacher! I have been for years. I still teach. But I don’t get paid. The government hasn’t paid its teachers in months”

-          “Honestly, I would work in whatever I found. If it meant house cleaning, I’ll do it. If it means cooking, I’ll do it. It could be office work, construction, department store assistants, selling food on the side of the road. Even though I went to high school, it really doesn’t matter, I will take whatever comes my way.”

Then there are the twins and their cousins, whom I help tutor once a week. Alejandra and Andrea are ten years old. Their mother left to the United States when they were just two, in order to provide for her children. She has been there ever since. The only mom they know is through Skype. They are living with their grandma, along with a houseful of cousins and extended family members. Their cousins, just the same, must deal with mom living so far away. Mom who cannot come visit them, if she does she will not be allowed to return to the states. Mom, whom they cannot hug.

I can’t forget about little baby Jostin. Jostin is 5 months old dealing with so much. His two main arteries are leading to only one lung, where they should be leading to both. He only receives half the oxygen that his body needs. As a result, he has blue fingertips, blue palms, blue toes, blue lips and a blue face when he cries or coughs (which happens more often than not). In addition, his mother cannot afford the right milk for an infant as his age. He is not getting the proper nutrition he needs, on top of his breathing problems. His body is so small. He is so fragile. He needs surgery. The doctors here (Honduras) cannot help him. He needs the expertise and equipment that doctors in the U.S. can perform for him, but he is Honduran. This surgery is long overdue. It may be too late. He is suffering because his country can’t help him. His mother can’t help him. (Don’t worry, I have an army of supporters in the states who are working hard on finding a solution for little baby Jostin. Please keep him in your prayers as we are trying our best!)

There are cases and cases just like these. What hurts the most is that I have seen both sides. It breaks my heart to see Bessy talk to mom on the phone telling her about a funny story that happened today. Then to meet Bessy’s mom in the states and have her ask me (because the Bessy she left behind was years ago) “How is my daughter? Is she skinny? What do you guys play together? Is she learning a lot?”. I have met the mothers. I have laughed, talked, and played with the daughters. Unfortunately, that is the closest they have. “A hug from her to you”

The difference between their situation and mine? Circumstance. I just happen to be born in Pennsylvania. They just happen to be born in El Porvenir, Honduras.

Sometimes, most of the time…almost always… I wish with all my heart, that I could change places.