William and his bag of corn

It was Sunday afternoon, which of course means swimming with someone, somewhere. This past week Lis and I went to swim with children of a dear family of mine, Astrid, David, Jessy and William. As we are walking to their house, we pass William. “Where are you going? Hurry! Let’s go swim!” I say. His face lights up, he says he has to run an errand but will be right there. We continue walking and William starts to run the opposite direction to get what he needed. We arrive at the kids house, where Jessy is taking care of the kids by herself. Astrid is full of giggles and little David can’t stop smiling. At first he was a bit shy but as soon as we got to the river he starts playing crocodile and jumping right in. We spend time with the kids waiting for William thinking he is going to arrive any second. He never came. We head back to drop the kids off. William wasn’t at the house. Lis and I say goodbye to the kids and go on our way. Just a few houses down we run into William. His is crouched over in the middle of corn kernels that had spilled on the ground. His bag ripped and everything fell onto the dirt road. “How long have you been here?” I asked. “About an hour.” There was William, all my himself, picking up every last kernel that had fallen. Lis and I begin to help. Soon neighborhood kids come out and help us as well. William didn’t say a word. Not a single complaint. He had been there, the whole time we were swimming, picking up the fallen kernels. He is ten. A very humble ten year old. He could have been swimming with us, but instead he knew what he had to do. He didn’t stop until the last kernel was picked up. There Lis and I were helping him and our legs were hurting from bending over. He had been there the entire time and not a single word or complaint came from his mouth. My heart ached. I knew how bad he wanted to go swimming. We finished picking it all up and he finally spoke with a smile on his face… “Gracias” 

They can't go back...

This past Monday I was able to visit the kids and drop off monthly support in Jutiapa. I arrived to their house and couldn’t wipe the smile off my face (not that I wanted too!). They were all on the front porch, eating chicken feet and rice. Their hair was combed, they had on new hand-made skirts by the Aunt, and were happy to see me. They looked different.  I wasn’t sure what it was. I wouldn’t find out until later.

“They have very bad behaviors” the Aunt tells me. “Im working hard to pray and change them”. She pulls me aside to ask if I knew about any child abuse. I explained that I knew about a year ago, they were in a bad situation with the neighbor. I knew they were abused while living with her and during this time both parents abandoned the kids. I was sure this had a large impact on them. Well it did. In fact, there was more abuse than I even knew of. She began telling me awful things. Stories I can’t write in this blog. My eyes teared up.  My heart hurt. I didn’t know.

“They can’t go back, Catalina” She continues. The situation was much worse than either her or I expected. I asked how she knew these things. She tells me every night she sits down and talks with the kids. Just to get a better idea of where they are coming from and why they behave the way they do. They sing songs and talk about the day. She loves them. She doesn’t just provide a roof and food on the table. She loves them. They needed this love. This unconditional love. 

They go to church. They have a network of supporters who are praying for the children. Neighbors give their unwanted clothes and shoes. Local mini stores lend food to the Aunt until she is able to pay for it. She knows God will provide. Her husband is not working. She sews for her neighbors. This is their only income. I was able to drop off some support for the kids but I still hope to find a few more sponsors.

…

I spoke with Danilo (the kids dad). I ran into him in the neighborhood the other day. He was sitting on a log. We began to talk a bit, he asked how his kids were and soon a tear ran down his face. He began to tell me he was hurting. He had no one now. Fanny (his wife) left to be with another man and his kids were gone. He said “Catalina, I go to bed at 9 and just cry. I feel like I have no reason to live. Sometimes I want to kill myself. I don’t know why I’m telling you this but I trust you.” Tears are running down his face. He tells me he wants to work. But he can’t read or write. He hasn’t passed the 6^th grade. We sit in quiet.

A few days later he comes to my house. Good news he says. I am learning to read and write. I want to pass school so I can work and provide for my children. “Where are you going?” I ask because he looks dressed up. “Church, I have been going now.” I am happy. I have been praying for this. Praise God. Bless his heart.

Please keep Danilo and his children in your prayers. Please prayerfully consider being a huge blessing to this family by becoming a monthly sponsor. 

Please log onto www.findinghopehonduras.org for more information on sponsors

A new home

A few days ago the Aunt of Nayeli, Denadi, Michele, and Josue decided to take all 4 kids in. AMAZING. I almost fell to my knees. All 4 children. What a blessing. I love that she cares so deeply for these kids.

It’s 8 AM and I arrive at the kids’ house. There they are, the parents and the kids, ready to go. However, the parents weren’t going to go with us. Miladys came along to help me move the kids to Jutiapa. I had bought them a backpack full of food to get them started off in their new home. I had their uniforms, school supplies, shoes, toothbrushes, and toothpaste. There we were, Miladys and I with the four kids. My backpack full of supplies and the kids had one suitcase with all their belongings in it. We waited in silence for the bus to drive by. No one made eye contact with anyone. Fanny and Danillo said a teary goodbye. Even Miladys cried. I cant imagine what saying goodbye to your kids like that would be like, and I hope I never do. Michele hugged me. Wouldn’t let go. She had her arms wrapped around me and rested her head on me. I ran my hand over her tangly, dirty, rough hair. We got on the bus and began our trip to their new home.

Once in Jutiapa the Aunt, Berta greeted us with big hugs. The kids immediately began to play. Josue was playing with another little girl about his age. He was happy. One of Berta’s sons was there, 12 years old, he began a game of ball in the backyard. A few neighborhood kids came out to play. My heart was so, so happy.

Miladys and I sat and talked with Berta, and began to help her make lunch. I expressed how appreciative I was and that even if the parents didn’t say it, “thank you” on their behalf. She was telling us how her family was excited to have the kids come. Even her two sons. The 12 year old, had been asking all morning, are they here yet? When will they get here? How much longer? Shouldn’t they be here by now?

Lunch was served. Rice, pasta, guineo (unripe green banana). Everyone was happy and full. Which only meant it was bathroom time. However, for Josue that meant taking his pants off and pooping in the side yard by crouching down. “NO JOSUE, NOT THERE!” I yelled. I told Berta I was sorry for how they behaved and she would need to work on that little by little. She understood. “That will all change, Catalina”.

We said our goodbyes. I told the kids I loved them and I was proud of them. I would be back. I was happy. I wasn’t sad because I knew I couldn’t be. This is where they needed to be! I couldn’t have been happier. 

Here are these precious children:

Nayeli: Nayeli will go far. She did good in school last year and will be entering second grade this year. I am happy for her. She is a smart 10 year old girl and deserves so much more.

Denadi: An 8 year old with way too much responsibility. She has a cute dark complexion and skinny little body, with a beautiful smile! She has learned way too much from her mother, and needs to learn to just be 8! Denadi will be entering first grade this year!

Michele: Where’s Michele? Oh yeah, grabbing onto my shirt. She is always latched onto someone. She doesn’t talk much and may have a learning disability. Michele is 6 and will be entering Kindergarten!

Josue: The cutest 3 year old you have ever seen. He is so lovable and loves, loves, loves the attention. How can you not give him all your love? Josue will be keeping Berta’s hands full!

I am currently looking for sponsors for these four children. At 50 dollars a month per child, this will provide everything needed, from school supplies and fees, food, medicine, clothes, etc. I am in constant communication with Berta and the family. I will be checking up on the kids, visiting them, and making sure they are in a good place. Please keep these kids in your prayers. Please help me find sponsors. Contact me at katem602@gmail.com if you or someone you know would like to support or help support one of these children. 

looking for help

It was Sunday evening and Denadi (8 years old) runs up to me “Tomorrow Im going to school, Catalina! My Mom says tomorrow Im going to school!” She was so excited. She was telling me all about her shoes that she washed herself, her school supplies and uniform. I was so happy. I thought to myself finally. Fanny (the mother) had told me Monday they would start. That she would have everything she needed by Monday. Also happening on Monday I had planned to go to Jutiapa (2.5 hours away) with Nayeli (10 years old) to get her school transfer papers. I would have to take Nayeli with me since I do not know the area. This was good. Things were moving along. Even though the parents are showing no interest in their kids education, I had things moving forward. Up until today, I have still not received a thank you.

Monday morning comes along, I wake up at 6 am, get ready and head off to Nayeli’s house to pick her up for the bus. There is Denadi.

Me: Denadi, why aren’t you in school?

Denadi: My mom says I can’t go today

Me: Why not? Last night, everything was ready to go and you were scheduled to go to classes today

Denadi: I have to take care of Michele (6 years old) and Josue (3 years old)

Me: Where is your dad?

Denadi: Sleeping.

SLEEPING. The father was sleeping. Denadi should have been in school but she had to take care of her siblings. She is 8 years old.

So, Nayeli and I board the bus and head to Jutiapa. Nayeli gets car sick and throws up. Then the bus breaks down and were stranded for a bit. What else?, I thought to myself. 

We arrive in Jutiapa and Nayeli leads me to her Aunt’s house. Nice lady she is. She lives in a nice house, has two children of her own who are in high school. This is where Nayeli lived last year. She went to school here. She was well taken care of, was fed, and did well in her classes. The aunt didn’t want her to leave but Fanny came and took her back. The aunt knew that if Nayeli went back home, she wouldn’t be in school. And, she wasn’t. The aunt was right. We got to talking about Fanny and Danillo and I asked what would need to happen to have Nayeli and the other kids come live with her. She laughed and said she couldn’t take in 4 children. Which I understood. Conversation went on and she thought maybe extended family could take in the kids as well. One child to each home. All the extended family, aunts, grandparents, cousins, all live there, in Jutiapa. Maybe that could be a solution? However the Aunt explained to me that no matter how much she might want the kids to come to Jutiapa, it depended on Fanny and she didn’t think Fanny wanted the kids there. So I left the conversation at that. We got Nayeli’s school papers and were on our way.

Back in La Ceiba I bought her school uniform (thanks Anne Fowler!) and shoes. She was so excited! To see the look on her face when she tried on the new shoes was priceless. She lit up. We then headed back to El Porvenir.

That night I came over to talk to Fanny and Danillo about registering Nayeli in school the next day and to ask why Denadi didn’t go. Nayeli must have told Fanny that the Aunt wants the kids to go to Jutiapa. We started to talk about that. That conversation just turned into Danillo accusing Fanny of things and Fanny accusing Danillo of things. Fanny talked about how he spent money on cocaine and never helped to buy food for the children. Danillo came back saying Fanny buys alcohol and sleeps around with men. (This is all happening in front of the kids). It got worse. Each was trying to prove their point and make the other look like the bad guy. I had to stop the argument quick. We got back on the conversation about sending the kids to Jutiapa. Basically they both agreed that was the best choice. Danillo said he doesn’t care if the kids go to Jutiapa because he knows it’s the best decision. (This also means that he will probably never see his kids for many years because Fanny’s family will not allow him to come visit). So we call the aunt to see what she says. She will have to talk to her husband. I told her I believe that there is no other option than the orphanage for the kids. They can’t stay where they are. A 10 year old should not be in charge of cooking rice for lunch because her parents left them home alone. A 8 year old should not have to care for a 6 and 3 year old because her parents are not responsible. They have to go. I told the Aunt I would help in any way I could. I told her I would find people to support them. She would not be alone.

Fanny begins to cry. Little Josue was asleep on the bed and I saw her glance over to him. She breaks down. I hug her and tell her I know this is hard. No matter how much it might hurt her, she is doing the right thing. The kids begin to cry. It took everything in me to keep myself together. I love those kids and I only want what is best for them. I said I was sorry for getting into their personal lives but I had to. I told the kids they could be mad at me. Nayeli stopped crying and looked up at her dad and said “NO, IM MAD AT YOU.” My throat closed up.

Left to right: Denadi, Nayeli, Rossel, Michele and little Josue at the bottom. 

I would like to end this blog by asking for your help. I will be talking to the Aunt soon to see what she has decided. I will need to tell her how much I am able to support her and children. This will be monthly support for 4 children. I will be talking to a few families in town to get a better idea of how much is needed to raise a family in Honduras. I am currently looking for 4 sponsors. If you, or someone you know is in a position to provide monthly support for these children, please contact me. I am not able to say how much will be needed for each child but please contact me if you are interested. This would be a huge blessing for the children, their parents and the families taking on this huge responsibility. I would be able to keep you in contact with the kids, send pictures and updates on how they are doing. Please pray for the situation and all those involved. Thank you!

Registration

“Sure, I will register them tomorrow”. That’s what I kept hearing from Fanny about her two children who should have been registered over a month ago. “Well, I can’t find their birth papers” or “I work during the day”. It was excuse after excuse with her. I tried to talk to Danillo (the dad) but that was of no use. He told me he didn’t have the money to register them. All he needed was 50 cents per child to get new birth papers, get them copied, then taken to the school for the director. I gave him the money and he promised to register the kids the next day. Nothing. I have spent countless hours talking to the family, talking to others in town about these kids who have parents who don’t care, and thinking about them. I would think about the situation in bed and fall asleep trying to come up with a solution. Thoughts jumped back and forth in my head that maybe I should just give up. The parents are of no use, why should I be spending all my time on this? Fanny causes me so much anxiety and I can see the damage she is doing to her kids. I want so bad for her to change, even though she tells me she will, I know she will not. I wanted to give up.

Friday morning I went to the place in town where you can get a new birth certificate. I brought with me written down the kids names and their parents names. I had asked Danillo the night before what his kids birthdays were, but he didn’t know. He didn’t know his own kids birthdays. Nor could he write their names. I asked him to write the girls full names on the paper so I would have the spelling correct, he couldn’t write. So I did the best I could and wrote their names down on the paper. The next morning I went the office and sat in line. An hour later I was finally attended to and I gave the women the information I had. After a while of searching, we found their names. Their registered names were different than the names Danillo gave me. HE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE THEIR NAMES CORRECT. I got the papers and then headed over to the school. Denadi is 8 years old and will be entering into the first grade. She starts on Monday! Nayeli went to school in another town with her extended family and passed the 2^nd grade so she will not be able to start until we get the transfer papers. Do you think Fanny will go do this? Absolutely not. Next week I will have to go myself to the school (2 ½ hours away) and get the transfer document and then show it to the director here to register Nayeli. She is 10, and otherwise will have to start over in 1^st grade.

I came home from the school and cried. Tears of joy. I was so happy. Papers! Their birth papers I had here in my hand! And that is exactly where they will stay. Here in my hands. What a blessing. Week after week and I finally got what I needed. I was fearful. I had my doubts. My biggest concern was if Danillo was going to leave. He had told me he was going to try and get into the states illegally. If that was the case, the kids would have to stay with Fanny. However, she works from 5 am – 5pm M – F. Her solution? To lock the kids in the house until when she got home. To literally lock the 4 children in the house until she returned from work. And that’s hoping she didn’t come home later than that, drunk. Or spend her money on herself. Last week, she spent her weeks payment on perfume. While her kids did not have food for dinner. Danillo, for now, is going to stay. I saw him working the other day and I am so grateful for that. Please keep this broken family in your prayers. 

Im baaaaaack!

Catalinaaaaaaaaa! Those first sounds of my name being shouted from Denadi as I approach their house. Then all of a sudden kids from everywhere start to run. “CATALINAAAA!” I almost get trampled over. What a gift. One that I had been waiting for, for so long now. It was pure joy. I surprised everyone in El Porvenir, no one knew I was coming. Word had gotten around town a bit so a few knew a bit but didn’t know when I would be there. Some of the first things the kids asked: “Where is Allison, Dan, Cristina, Janna, Riane, Laura y Elena??” … “When can we go swimming?” … “Do you have to go back to your house tonight? Just sleep here!”

The next day, I saw Rosa, Abuela, the twins and everyone else in between. Rosa began to cry just saying “MALA.” Everyone I saw wanted to give me food “Catalina eat some yucca”, “Catalina do you want arroz con leche”, “Catalina when can you come over for pasteles”, “Catalina I will make you baleadas”.  It was an awesome day back in town and feeling like I fit right back into the puzzle. I couldn’t have asked for more.

I was able to visit some of the project sites that the volunteers are working in. Rosa’s Kinder is going really well, she has 35 kids jam packed into her room and they are so excited to be there. Everyone in town wants their kid to go to Rosa’s, even if it means it is further away! The Porvenir English Project is another program run by HCA (Honduras Child Alliance) that I was able to visit and see a bunch of kids who I worked with in the past. Even kids I don’t know, knew my name!

Thursday I went with Rosa to the municipality to talk about my projects that I want to start. There we were, sitting at a table with the “board” listening to us. Normally this would have been a very professional event with lots of paper work and decisions. Well, we walked right in, sat down and began to talk. In the meantime, cake and soda were being passed around, board members were talking on their cell phones, the historian was frantically writing down notes by pencil, and the security guard was giving his input on our conversation. Everyone was very receptive and happy for the children/women center to start! A few of them are from the next town over and were trying to persuade me to start the center in their town instead of El Porvenir…maybe someday! My reason of going to the municipality was to ask if I needed any license or permit to start something like this. Their response “Just go ahead and begin!” I have another meeting next week and possibly I will get a license then? I was actually really confused so just went along with it.

Yesterday I went to the public school to talk to the teachers and students about a free dental clinic that will be starting on Monday. Anne Fowler is working with HCA but also does a ton of awesome things in the community. One of these is an annual dental brigade from Canada that comes in and treats all the kids in grades 4, 5 and 6 in the public school. So yesterday we had to go to all the classes to explain to the teachers what would be going on, when and how. This was actually really awesome to be a part of. I got to visit all the classes and see kids that I haven’t seen yet! Some of my kinder kids are now in 1^st and 2^nd grade looking oh so cute in their uniforms! Im excited to help with the dental team all next week!

A few updates:

- I tried to register a few kids (Nayeli and Denadi) in school on Friday but their dad didn’t show up L Fanny is off somewhere else, yet once again, but good to know the kids are doing well and Josue is as cute as ever.

- Went swimming with the kids in the river with the other volunteers and they all fell in love with the kids!

- Belkis had her son, but the baby sadly died 3 days later L Please prayers for her.

- Abuela had surgery and is slowly recovering

- Baby Allison is adorable and happy happy happy! I will hope to have pictures or videos soon!

Thank you to everyone who is helping this all be possible. I am so blessed to be back in Porvenir feeling like I belong. Please pray for my time here, the people I hope to minister to, and the projects I will be a part of. 

Back in the states...

Its a little over a week now since ive been home. How do I feel? Its more like what dont I feel? I have felt every emotion possible I believe. Ive cried, Ive laughed, Ive embraced, Ive longed, and thats just the beginning. Ive left a life Ive created for the past year. Ive left friends, children, brothers and sisters...ive left my family. Ive left a country I have come to love. Despite all the scary moments, sad times, and tough emotions, I have had the best year of my life. I really cant even sit here and try to explain the year I have had. No matter what I write about or try to explain, you will never know how my heart really feels. Sometimes Im not even sure what my heart is feeling. 

Before leaving Honduras, Allison, Dan and I were blessed to be able to travel to Nicaragua and visit dear friends that we have known for the past 10 years. It was an amazing week, but in the back of my mind I knew my time was almost up. Once we got back to Honduras, we had a million things to do. I spent the last few days saying my goodbyes..I felt like they might never end...in fact I wished they wouldnt end.

Friday afternoon, the mothers of the Kinder (both Kinders that I worked with), threw me a goodbye party. I had absolutely NO idea. I began to cry when they yelled surprise and kids began to run towards me. I was so overwhelmed with emotion and everyone wanted pictures with me. I was a mess. It was about 120 degrees, I was hot and sweaty, and crying. But I had to compose myself. Mothers, fathers, siblings, children, neighbors, grandparents...everyone was there. I couldnt have asked for a better goodbye party. It was by far the BEST party I have ever had or been to. It was full of laughing and crying, dancing and singing, eating and hugging. It was full of love. LOVE. and thats all i could have asked for. They did what they could for me and to me thats incredible. They have nothing and they gave me everything. 

The last few days were days I will never forget. I had lice. Dan and Ally had lice. Power outages. We were running out of money. We were waiting for a birth. Goodbye parties. Walking around town for hours going house to house to almost everyone I have met in this past year. A grandmother passing away. A mother in pain. It was a weekend, like I said...ill never forget. 

I would like to go into detail but I would be sitting here for hours writing this blog. To find out how the month with my sisters visit went, please read her blog. She has helped Porvenir in amazing ways. Dan and Ally raised money before coming to Honduras, I got connected with a local pastor and we began our bunk bed project. Their blog has pictures and describes our adventures in depth. 

http://danandally.blogspot.com/

Im home now. Trying to adjust. Hoping to live a life according to everything I have learned in Honduras. Hoping to be a change.